When something is wrong you want do anything to fix it. But with Aryn we have learned there are no easy answers. She was born shortly before Christmas with no real complications. A big beautiful little baby girl, totally healthy. Developed normally besides her speech. At a year old we attempted to to get a hearing assessment and what very little we could get done we learned she has a very very small percent of hearing loss in her right ear. We though we had an answer and a plan to get her help.
But it wasn’t as simple as that. It never really issue. The food restriction followed shortly after that. She was the baby that would eat everything but suddenly it was hard to get her to eat anything. Her melt downs, which we believed were connected to her hearing lost became more extreme. The baby who was a wonderful sleeper suddenly was no longer sleeping well.
She started speech around 2 years old. and since then has grown so much. I heard her call me Momma for the first time around three. Which was so wonderful. To this day I just love to hear it. I waited to hear it for so long. Within a year she’s grown so much. There are still days she is hard to understand and she’s still not nearly where she should be. But she’s getting closer. We’ve been very very lucky to be paired with a wonderful speech therapist whom has been helping us try to figure this all out. And willing to deal with Aryn which some days can be a real task.
But still we have no answers. What happen what changed. She doesn’t fit the classic autism spectrum. But there is something there under the suffice that no one can seem to figure out. For now we’re calling it sensory issues. She can be wonderful one day and the next just every little thing sets her off. If routines aren’t followed she can’t handle it. There is nothing worse then watching your kid out of control and knowing there is very little you can do to help them help themselves. All I can do is hold her till she calms down and assure her that it’s all gonna be okay. When she’s trying to tell me something and I have no clue what it is she is trying to say. The days I have to watch her live on milk because she just can’t eat. Seeing little girls her age and knowing she is so far behind. It’s heart breaking. She’s so very very smart just like her sister. But something is holding it back and we can’t put a finger on it. We see these wonderful glimpses of the girl we know is trapped inside. When she uses words that kids her age shouldn’t know. Her language when she can speech is so much more advance then her counterparts. Her memory is just amazing. She is so sweet and engaging.
Maybe this is more for me. But I know there are other parents out there dealing with the same. I want you know you’re not alone. And that we can’t share and help each other. Giggle and celebrate the wonderful things our kids do. Hug it out and cry when it just is a terrible no good day. Knowing our children are wonderful just the way they are and we’d wouldn’t want them any other way.